blessed…

i haven’t written in awhile, because i have been a little down and out.

first, my whole heating/cooling units need replaced. i was already aware of this issue last summer, but thought i could struggle through it. essentially, the system isn’t big/powerful enough for the square footage of my house, and also my duct work is not large enough to create a good air flow. this winter, we had to get a space heater, and our bill was still over $600. ps, my house is less than 1,200 square feet, so that is ridiculous right?! now, when it’s hotter inside than it is outside, we have a problem. i am chubby and cannot stand being hot. i had to get this problem solved asap. unfortunately, our cheapest option is $3,000. ouch. i finally got to the bank to get the financing set up, and after 6 hours this coming monday, hopefully i will be sitting in some nice cold air! i figure i will have to fix it before selling the house, so i might as well reap the benefits while i can, instead of suffering, just to buy someone else a brand new system. the house is about 10 years old, and that’s about how long they are supposed to last anyway, so i feel that i made the right decision, although my wallet thinks otherwise.

then, we were having issues planning our vacation. well, we were going to have to use all that we had saved, but luckily we found other options. we also couldn’t agree on where to go. brian wanted to go to the beach, but i didn’t want to spend our first and last day traveling in the car for hours. we had originally planned to go to nashville, but after figuring in the pricing for parking/cabs every day, we didn’t think we could afford to do all that we had originally planned. after a lot of annoying googling and indecisiveness, we finally agreed on louisville. it’s less than a 2 hour drive from home, we found an amazing deal at a very nice hotel right on 4th street, and there is a nice mix between art activities for me, and sport activities for brian. i’m very excited that all the planning is finalized, we will have a nice relaxing and fun week away from “real life,” and we will be able to add another shot glass to our collection 😉

i’ve also been struggling with my job. it’s not that i don’t like it, but it’s not using my degree whatsoever. i didn’t go to school for this, and i don’t have a passion for this. you may have read my previous post about my advising meeting, and how discouraging that was. i continue to apply for teaching jobs, but not with the determination i should be. i’m just kind of at a road block mentally, and i’m losing motivation to continue going after my dream.

and finally, my love life. it seems that all of my friends are getting engaged, married, having kids, having more kids, etc. and leaving me in the dust. as the oldest of the grandchildren in my family, one cousin has already surpassed me, and another cousin is soon to follow.  i know that it’s not a race, and i should trust God’s timing and plans for my life, as they are greater than i could ever imagine for myself, but that’s easier said than done. i am beyond happy for my friends and family, don’t get me wrong, i would just like to join the ranks of married folk sooner rather than later, lol.

but the point of this post was not to complain…even though i have all these stressors going on in my life, i still need to take a step back, and remember all of my blessings. i am blessed to own my own home. i am blessed to have a nice house to come home to. yes the heat may be unpleasant for awhile, and it may cost a pretty penny that i’d rather not spend to get it fixed, but soon it will be fixed, and eventually it will be paid off. it will even add value to my home for when it’s time to resell.

i am blessed to be able to afford time off of work to spend where i want, how i want, and with my significant other. i am blessed to have the opportunity to travel, however close to home it may be. to go out to dinner and not have to cook or clean dishes. to sleep in a comfortable bed but not have to make it in the morning. to experience new places and new things. to take our first trip alone together…to create new memories that we will always cherish.

i am blessed to have a job. i am blessed to have benefits. i am blessed because i come to a hospital, make medicine for cancer patients, but at the end of the day i get to leave. i am blessed because i have my health.

and finally i am blessed to have someone that loves me. supports me. listens to me. confides in me. makes me laugh. cheers me up when i have a bad day. pushes me to do better. feigns interest in my crafts ;P etc. etc. i don’t need a ring on my finger to prove or validate it. not saying we never plan to get married…but i am ok with waiting until we are both financially ready, and will stop being a big baby about it, lol.

i read somewhere that if everybody threw their problems into a pile, and we had the chance to see everyone else’s, we would gladly take our own back. sometimes, i need to reevaluate on a scale of 1 to 10 how big of a deal things really are…take a deep breath, and remind myself that i am blessed.

now, off to eat a delicious dinner with my man and my brother…and enjoy a nice friday evening together.

yes, i am blessed 🙂

c

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